Week by Week: Trimester Two

If you got to the very end of trimester one's post (here), you'll already know that my baby making body is being pretty good to me. Starting off this trimester with a positive attitude will hopefully take me good places. [[[Photos to come because it's busy season and all I can do is sleep or taxes.]]]

Week 14: To start things off with some great news, my bacne has been slowly dissipating and it is feeling much better! On Tuesday morning, Glen took me to the doctor's office for my first blood test. Why haven't we figured out a way to test blood from my body without having the foreign objects shoved inside? That would really be the best. Glen has been prepping me since my first doctor's appointment where I found out about this blood work during pregnancy thing. I felt anxious, but knew it had to be done, so I showed up to the stupid lab. Urine-d like a champ -- no qualms there. Then, we get into the blood taking room and the lady starts pulling all of these tubes out of these baskets next to my chair. And I'm like, "Wait a second, how much blood are you taking?!?" And she confirmed that it was, indeed, SIX vials to be extracted. Now, I was diligently prepared for one; six seemed like a bad joke that will never be laughed at for as long as it lives. It was happening and I looked at Glen as the needle pierced and the 18 terrifying hours of extractions. My blood slowed because of how nervous I was and I didn't want to breathe for fear of moving any part of my body. I started crying as the nurse tried to calm me down so the blood would flow again because I thought this might never end. So, my first blood work experience went much as I was expecting -- terrible and largely tearful. We rounded out the week with the trek though -- so good things do come. Trek post: coming soon.

Week 15: So, about the UH situation, we've decided to stay because we can't go anymore haha. Long story that maybe Glen can tell sometime because it's just too much for me. Glen and I went on a dinner date on Tuesday because I was working from home (the best). We have a gift card for Lucille's and before 4 PM is considered lunch menu pricing -- late lunch/early dinner we go! I love going on dates with Glen; he's my best friend because (not only do I love him, but) he's easy to be best friends with. He's the best. I'm not sure what has happened (to completely change the conversation), but nausea and fatigue has hit me with a vengeance the latter part of this work week. On Saturday, I went to a park with Bruce and Bronson to hang out for a weird/cool community thing that Bronson was less than wow-ed by. Glen and I gave talks on Sunday about trek and the youth spanned most of the meeting time, so I said about a minute's worth of testimony and gave the rest of the five minutes to Glen. I was grateful.

Week 16: Started off with a dinner pho date with the fetus father :) My nausea has gone down significantly and I'm feeling a bit better all around; starting to see the bump, I think. For most of my pregnancy, the abhorrent bloating/full bladder has been my "baby" people comment on. Bruce said I should name it Reginald. I'm glad Reginald takes vacations most days now. Our friends from BYUH, the Zimmerman's (pictured), came for a quick visit as they moved from Portland to Houston. I'll probably post about that soon, too. Ugh, so much stufffffff. Maternity leave can't come soon enough. For Father's Day, we went to my family's barbecue at La Mirada Regional Park because my family's crazy and likes suffering in the immense heat together (it was over 100 F that day). I made a card for Glen in church while the YW wrote cards to their dads for part of the lesson -- I also got him tools.

Week 17: This week has been a bit stressful at work because of a project I was assigned to that I really have no idea what I'm doing. The guy I'm working for is in the San Diego office and phone calls are not significant for my learning -- I need someone face-to-face and going through it with me, not just talking about what to do. Anyway, there are deadlines coming up, so there are lots of loose ends on other projects that needed to be dealt with on top of the unknowable project. By Thursday, I felt there was an end to the stupidity in sight. On Wednesday, we played Where's Waldo at the mall with the YW/YM for mutual; it was awesome. We have these cute little beehives who just joined our group and they add so much life and excitement where it was lacking in abundance before. I'm really grateful for them because I just don't do that -- I don't "cheer up the sad and make someone feel glad", if you know what I mean. If someone wants to be a grouch, by all means have a sad life in the corner because you can't get over yourself. I know, it's terrible -- especially for a youth leader, but I'm trying. And God blessed me with silly, fun girls I can actually relate to now, so everything works out. Saturday, we went to our ward's hoedown and brought Bronson along for some culturing haha. It was awesome and so fun! We also announced on FB and Instagram this week. We've had the video for a while just hadn't used it for anything.

Week 18: Guys! This year is half over, which seems impossible to us. Man, am I grateful it's going by quick though, you know? I mean, being pregnant and working full time is super and all, but maternity leave cannot come soon enough haha. It was way worse in the first trimester when the fatigue and nausea were insatiable companions (I'm so happy those days are mainly in the past right now). I've finally received the other gracious gift of eating anything I want and not feeling full. I went to Souplantation and ate all of my plates clean without the too-full feeling. So worth the money now. We had an ultrasound appointment on Thursday (June 30) to find out the gender. We decided to have the gender written down and then be surprised in a more exciting way -- which we kinda just didn't do and maybe we'll take the ultimate surprise of birth? We're indecisive about it, what's new? Glen and I both felt baby moving around for the first time this week (I felt it on the inside before, but never with my hands). Most of the time when I try to get Glen to feel the movements, the thing stops doing it! We think it's probably because of my voice, but it'll get used to that soon. Oh, P.S., baby belly is in full swing now :)

Week 19: Fourth of July happened and baby moves were very present during the fireworks shows. We had a doctor's appointment that was about 15 seconds with the doctor, 20 minutes of waiting haha. I'm not bothered by it, just thought it would be a bit different. We don't have any questions because we don't remember I'm pregnant most of the time, so our meetings are very short. We hear the heartbeat for a second and a half, a quick bye-bye-now, and then it's breakfast time. We have another ultrasound in a month because the doctor said he needs some more information. Whatever that means. The little thing moves around more when eating or hunger is going on, just after I've relieved myself (haha), and when I sit up/lay down after laying down/sitting up. It's fun and reminds me there's a wee human in there that I need to be good to my body for.

Week 20: HALF WAY! Whaaatt?! We've been scheming and threatening a camping trip to Big Sur for a little while now and decided to just do it already. I saw a deal on a car rental early on in the week and and then it was just happening all of a sudden on Wednesday. I apologetically asked for days off on late notice and everyone was cool about it at work. See about the trip to Big Sur, Monterey, and SF soon (it's busy season and I need sleep, like a lot).

Week 21: The movements in there are more and more significant; Wednesday night, while Glen and I read scriptures together, the babe was getting crazy every time it was Glen's turn to read. It was adorable. Also, Wednesday night was slack-lining night at mutual for the YW. It's been quite a while since Glen and I have set it up because of stupid stuff with park rangers, but I got across on my first go! I felt pretty good about that especially since I've only just been able to start working out regularly again. This week was the first time people commented on my tummy size at church :)

Week 22: Glen's on a (work)week long camping trip with the scouts on Catalina. Neither of us have been, so we were both pretty excited about that part. Less stoked on the 4:30 AM meeting time at the stake center. I always miss Glen when we're apart, more especially when he's on camp outs and we can't even text. The first day he left though, man I could not focus on work or sleep or anything! I ended up doing yoga in the conference room during my lunch because I just couldn't handle the rigor of the day. Anyway, it was a long work week for me, but I saw my stomach move for the first time on Wednesday because of baby's movements! It was weird and extremely involuntary -- cool! I was sitting at work and the thing was just going crazy, I looked down and a big one hit right then -- which manifested almost like those beetles that kill you on the inside from The Mummy except way less morbid. When Glen got home (thank goodness), he saw the baby kick, too. It was a good moment.


Week 23: Went in for a checkup and an ultrasound -- baby's still not great to the technician, but better than last time for sure. I had some questions for the doctor this time, the most important on the list being: Can I sleep on my back? Yes, as long as it remains a normal pregnancy and that's what's comfortable. Win! I've been doing yoga and feeling a lot better about my health than I have since getting pregnant. We also went to the baby blessing for Cassidy Mayans on Sunday, which was beautiful.

Week 24: Tuesday night, the 9th of August, was the first time I fell asleep forgetting to take my prenatal vitamin. I might die; we'll see. I had my second and final blood test (hopefully) for this pregnancy. It was the glucose test, so I had to drink a little water bottle filled with a too-rich-Kool-Aid liquid and sit there for an hour -- it's a good thing HGTV was on repeat. Although it would've been cool if they had the Olympics on, oh well. This blood thing went better than the last; I was a little more composed and ready to expect a record number of vials to be extracted. It ended up being two and the extractor person was a little better at making me feel okay. When Glen told her that I was nervous and it was only my second time getting my blood drawn the nurse commented that she remembered me from the first time.... She wasn't even the same nurse; so, I'm pretty famous. For crying and making my blood stop with anxiety, but whatevs. I made sure to hold my tears in until we were back in the car. Temple night, Friday night. I can't fit in my dress anymore :D haha.


Week 25: We went to an Angel's baseball game on Tuesday night with Bruce, Marinda, and Bronson. It was fun and Bronson was hilarious as always. There was a clapping sequence going on and I asked him if he was going to clap with me -- he had his water cup in his hands so he couldn't. He tried putting it in the cup holder directly in front of him, but failed. He tried putting it in the cup holder to his left, but there was trash in it so he failed (the clapping has completely ended at this point). He went back to the first cup holder and finally succeeded. He stands tall and starts to clap, realizes everyone has stopped, and so stops himself. It was the best. In other news, that night also happened to be the first time I woke up from my tummy growling and had to eat a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios before being able to sleep again. Man, was that the lamest. Wednesday night, Glen was playing/singing me songs on his ukulele before bed and the baby was going crazy! I've never experienced so much movement in there before. He also heard the baby move on Sunday night when I was too tired to do anything but lay down. He said it sounds like something swimming in a bag of liquid... which makes sense.

Week 26: This marks the first time I have ever enjoyed a cup of hot chocolate. I had a dream where I was drinking hot chocolate and woke up with the distinct impression that I would actually enjoy it if I drank it instead of getting a headache two sips in. And it happened! I mean, I got the tiniest headache from drinking the whole cup -- so, that's a record for sure. Glen's pretty excited about it. We went laser-tagging with the youth for mutual this week. Glen got fourth and I was fifth (out of 13). We went to Carlsbad Thursday night after a meeting for work in SD and didn't get VG's :(

Week 27: Had a check up with the doctor this week -- baby's heart rate was around 160 bpm and my blood type is A positive :) So stoked to know my blood type; I feel like I'm on a greater level of self-awareness. Been feeling a little more tired lately, but that's probably due to working longer hours in busy season now instead of new pregnancy symptoms appearing. We went swimming at Grandma's with Bruce and Bronson (Marinda wasn't aware of the swimming before she arrived, so she couldn't swim with us) during my long lunch break on Saturday. It was a much needed break for me and made me feel like I actually kind of had a weekend. Which is always necessary.

The movement in there has increased substantially at the latter end of this trimester. Sometimes it's lots of small, what-are-you-doing-in-there-? feelings and other times it's huge, WHAT-ARE-YOU-DOING-IN-THERE-!? feelings. The small movements feel like maybe it's just gas bubbles moving around or knuckles gently rubbing against my skin on the inside. The big ones sometimes don't feel so good at this point -- like maybe the thing has teeth already and is ready for a chunk of meat. Mostly though, they just feel like someone's prodding me from the inside to eat or go pee (finally) or go to sleep (finally).

The only significant symptom I've noticed in this second trimester other than sleepiness is that I need time with Glen. Not just normal time either; I need time where we are just quiet and not doing anything but being together. Maybe it's because I know that it will be less possible to do that soon and so I want all of it now. I just really need him to know that my love for him will not lessen because we have another member in our family. I'm not quite sure how that's done -- pregnancy emotions making everything more difficult and huge-feeling. Bleh.

Week By Week: Trimester One

There is a human growing inside of me. Now that it is a for sure thing, let's back track for a little bit and start from week one.

Week 1: I noticed a major change in my body what I think was close to straight away -- my breasts were extremely sore and I gained about 5 pounds out of nowhere and haven't gone up or down since (besides normal fluctuations throughout the day). I feel the weight gain is a huge blessing because I have been on the borderline of healthy/unhealthy according to simple BMI metrics; on the healthy side of that borderline, but close. All I want is to be healthy and this has helped me and the baby. Still did not think I was pregnant though.

Week 2: I love meat. I haven't been into eating meat for a while; not because of any disdain for meat-eating, but there just hasn't been a big desire to do it. We've been through some weeks where our meals were meatless (maybe not completely bacon-grease-less though) especially in Hawai'i. Anyway, my body has come to the realization of the tastiness of meat again. I don't eat an exorbitant amount because I can't eat much at any one meal, but I do want it more. We went to Knott's Berry Farm with the youth in our ward this week; I remember not knowing at this point that I was for sure pregnant. I remember thinking that it's possible because of the weirdness in bodily feelings, but didn't believe it to be due to an embryo.

Week 3: I started noticing that I have more pimples on my face than normal. Yay. Pregnancy becoming more of a reality.

Week 4: I have a case of bacne, which I've never experienced before. It's very uncomfortable and, obviously, super lame. We'll see how this all works out; hopefully my body gets used to all of the weirdness in hormones soon. Pregnancy obvious to me, not even a possibility for Glen.

Week 5: Glen and I are really blessed -- I really am very similar to my old self besides all-day nausea and tiredness. These things we can get through just fine; I mean, I love sleep anyway. We were both afraid of what could possibly happen to my personality during these trying months and I really haven't changed much. I've always been in love with sleep and the nausea sucks, but it's livable. Glen is realizing that the mean monster hasn't been around for a while...

Week 6: I took a pregnancy test this week because Glen wanted more evidence. I didn't want to spend the money because it's pretty set by now. I peed on it anyway and the little plus sign arrived as expected. So gross.

Week 7: I took the first portion of the CPA exam (BEC) this week and I passed!!! [I actually found out I passed in Week 9 (May 5), but timelines are boring to stick to sometimes.] Right before, I ate a banana to calm my stomach and drank water. I had to take a break once to go to the restroom and drink more water, but it wasn't as terrible as I had previously imagined it going (being pregnant and all). I got out with two minutes to spare for time and I watched YouTube videos of Jimmy Fallon playing stupid games on his show to make sure I stopped thinking completely. My mind was in distress. Glen picked me up and we headed off to Dave & Buster's for our end of tax season party for work! I was actually pretty stoked because Hayley and Jaydyn would be there. Glen and I found our spot at the "Down the Clown" game (popular carnival-type game to really waste your money on, but we found the groove); our arms were so sore by the end of it and we didn't want to stop. We ended up with close to 3,500 tickets! We got a selfie-stick to make it easier to make videos for our baby because we are those people. Two head-massager things that look like a cartoon's hair when they're upside-down because why not? A large bank tube full of warheads, which ended up being stupid because they were better in our memories. And three bags of sour chews, which are really shocktarts with a new name. It was awesome and we were the last ones to leave (as usual); people in our group were giving us their leftover game tokens when they hit the road, it was the best. We had several tickets left on our account, but not enough to get anything with so we found a cute kid and gave it to him. He was with what I assumed to be his mother and they told us it was his birthday! They were grateful and so were we. We saw the OCMCO perform (referring to the picture) because a few people from our stake are in it and the concert was beautiful. Music is so uplifting. And I also went to my friend Vi's baby shower for her cute little Cassidy babe.

Week 8: I researched some doctors that are in our health network for my OB-GYN care and found one that I feel good about. When I was researching, I felt really good about a Dr. Buchanan, but his online profile said that he specialized in abnormal births (like twins and stuff) so I looked down the list and found a different one in the same office and felt fine. When I called to make an appointment, they asked if I had any desires to be with a certain doctor and I said no because this is my first time being pregnant and I haven't a clue about anything haha. I guess I said that for good reason because she said that Dr. Buchanan was going to be in the office at the time I had previously agreed to! I was happy and relieved that the internet isn't right a lot of the time. Also, first "pregnant picture" taken.

Week 9: We went to the doctor for the first time this week! The first appointment was for an ultrasound with a nurse at the Yorba Linda location of the St. Jude Women's Center practice (where we're doing all our baby stuff). We were late because we went to the wrong building and then couldn't find where to go when we arrived at the correct building. On top of that, I forgot the paperwork that had been emailed to me to fill out and bring with us; many small mistakes being wrapped up into a large annoyance for others. After we got into the room and the nurse warmed up a little, we saw our wee embryo being all baby-like. We heard the heartbeat and the little thing was squirming around like it had somewhere to go. It doesn't. We could see legs  and arms and my worst fear -- a huge head haha. Glen's family has huge craniums; not very excited about the birthing part of that situation. We got some pictures and hid them tightly away in my bag before filling out an hour's worth of paperwork. Our second appointment was with Dr. Buchanan at the Fullerton office across the street from St. Jude Hospital. We got to this one early because we weren't keen on paying for parking and we had no idea where to go again. Surprisingly, we managed to arrive at the right office without much frustration. We waited in a room for about an hour before doc came in because a patient had crashed right before he was about to leave the hospital. We were just watching YouTube and trying to calm my nerves, so it went by fast and we had a good time just laying around in my hospital gown. Very breathable. He arrived and I was sweating profusely from then on; I haven't been naked at a doctor's appointment for probably 10 years. Mostly though, I just wanted everything to be okay and it turned up fine. We left and I was late for work :)

Week 10: We video-chatted with Elder Ian on Mother's Day and told everyone we were pregnant. Later that night, we went over to Grandma's and told everyone there, too. I was nervous because I don't mind being a wallflower and being pregnant kind of makes that hard. All went well. This was the immediate aftermath of telling my family (those who were present) -- Jay's so stoked to have two new babies coming this year.

Week 11: Prenatal vitamins to the freaking rescue -- and then not so much. I was feeling so terrible at the beginning of this week/end of last week. I honestly felt like I might pass out at any moment. Mid-week, Glen shopped around for some prenatal vitamins and got me these crazy huge pills that have everything I need in them (so they say). I took one that night and felt like myself in the morning, which hasn't happened in several weeks. I usually wake with a mild to moderate headache and terrible stomach-aches. It felt amazing. A couple nights later and I had a very hard time getting that stupid pill down my throat for the last time. It freaked me out and so I've had trouble with it since because my mind is strong-willed. Glen and I looked up some techniques for getting that thing down and we're going to try them out in week twelve (tomorrow -- crossing our fingers for no throw up). Oh, and we took a picture with a key lime at Sprouts because that's what size the little thing is according to the internet. Pictured: key lime.

Week 12: Vitamin throw up issues are history (hopefully) -- the tips that worked for me are putting the pill in my mouth first and drinking it down with juice. It's so simple. **DJ break dance war; throws computer** On Wednesday, Glen received an acceptance email to the University of Hawai'i's medical school -- with a week to tell them whether we are going or not and two months until his first semester would begin. Deliberation meetings have been set for every day until we can't deliberate any longer. We went to the temple Wednesday night and met with our stake president Thursday night. We've been trying to figure out the best course of action for both of our careers knowing that (ultimately) Glen's is our main focus. We've had lots of counsel from others, which we completely appreciate and welcome. It's times like these where I have a good job, Glen's working on remodeling his parent's second home for selling, and we're having a baby that things just seem to want to shake it up. There are so many huge, huge parts to this decision that make it terribly hard and frustrating. Well, we don't know what to do with our lives. To procrastinate thinking about that longer, while driving across town trying to find a plum to take a picture with, Glen informed me that (for the first time) he feels excited to hold our baby! I might tear up again just thinking about it. Also, Glen took a google survey and answered yes to a question about his fatherhood status and got pretty happy. So did I :) On a side note, this was a rather telling week for me, which I'll probably go into later when I feel less tender about the subject and more resolved. Pictured: nectarine because plums aren't in season yet (pretty sure this is larger than the fetus; like pretty dang sure).

Week 13: We still haven't made it social media public, so maybe I'm not pregnant yet? I think that's right. It's not like we have a wish to keep the news private from the Facebook kings, but we just haven't done it. I like telling people to their faces, but also understand that the kid will be a grown up before we'd be able to manage that for some of our loved ones who live far, far away. It'll probably happen soon. Sometime. About me though (haha), I've been feeling better -- some nausea remains, but it isn't all day anymore. I've been finding it a little hard to sleep this week due to the UH decision, I think. We have been weighed down with the responsibility of choosing something so life-altering; there are so many advantages to our family (both immediate and extended) to stay here and just hope we get into a closer, less expensive school next year. We sent in a request for deferral on the due date of our decision -- Wednesday. It gives us a little more time to think about it even if they deny it or offer us a deferral we aren't willing to accept. Also, we played disc golf and went to a family barbecue and the cemeteries (for Memorial day visits to Glen's family) on Saturday. It was a good day! Pictured: that is a tiny peach growing on our tiny peach tree :)

So, the first trimester is over for this wee peach. I've mostly felt (physically) bloated, tired, and nauseous. Emotionally, all over the place haha -- mostly normal though. Crossing fingers for that "superwoman" second trimester phase people rave about enjoying.

Joshua Tree National Park

The young men and women in our ward go to Joshua Tree for an annual rock climbing trip with Brother Briggs. I had never been before because I either didn't go when I was in YW or it wasn't going on back then -- I don't remember. I would also like to take this introduction to confess that I am listening to Christmas music right now and loving it. It's the gospel-y type, so it felt more acceptable when I changed my Pandora station to it. I just had to get that out there. I have been fiercely in opposition to the listening/celebrating of Christmas before it's due time; namely, after Thanksgiving because everyone seems to go straight from celebrating zombies and vampires to the Savior's earthly mission. Interesting, no? Anyway, I must be getting older and becoming less passionate about frivolous causes. Christmas music is good and Thanksgiving doesn't have great selection, let's be honest. And, as I said, it is gospel-y, so it's not the stuff focused on greed and reindeer.

On the subject of getting older, Glen and I both enjoyed our birthdays last week/end. It was Bronson's first birthday, so we mostly did things for him haha. We've always been pretty low key on the whole birthday celebration side. 

The weekend we went out to Joshua Tree, it was blistering hot back home and a cool 88 degrees of heaven out in the high desert. It has been incredibly hot this year and I am seriously looking forward to like 70 degrees... That isn't asking too much, but it feels like it is possible for the weather to never cooperate with that request. We arrived a little later than expected, but CA traffic, ya know? Plus, our car kind of missed the exit because we were enthralled listening to Carrie Underwood's rendition of "How Great Thou Art" and couldn't be disturbed by directional signs. 

We got there and a couple of the girls and I went exploring up a rock until we realized we didn't have flash lights or proper shoes for the conquest of the rock. We had a devotional after dinner about the different ways to go about climbing and how it relates to staying securely fastened to the commandments of God. 

We were interrupted in our attempts to go to sleep by the inebriated, male neighbors next to the girls' campsite. Them, and the stars. It was hard to close my eyes because it has been since moving from HI last December that I had really seen stars. Well, both of those and the coyotes howling and cackling all night; I had a dream that it was the girls doing it, but woke to find no one awake. But I did get some rest and we got our courteous neighbors back by getting them up before dawn because we were readying breakfast and our things to head out to our rock climbing adventure. The sunrise was gorgeous and it was my first one in a long while. 

After all the youth had their chance to get up the rock, there was still some time for me to try my hand. I tried on all of the climbing shoes, but none of them fit. I tried going up with shoes that were three sizes too small, but my toes felt like the Hulk in a straight jacket; ready to burst. So, I came back down, freed my feet, put back on my New Balances, and climbed up with a ton of slips.

 I just really like this rock formation.

This is Scotty climbing on the left and a girl from the Euclid ward on the right, Mikayla (that is spelled wrong for sure).

Glen belayed everyone all day. In the hot, hot sun. He's such a stud. Also, look at those freaking Chum's hanging off his ears. So awesome. We found them in the carnage that is his parents' garage. We've been trying to clean out and organize with little-to-no success up until last month when we got rid of the storage unit and have more room in the garage than in years... Oh, the joys of the D.I. and recycling bins. I love purging so much. Also-also, Glen's gonna kill me for putting this picture in because, well, because. But, it's the only photo I took of one of us and that's just how it goes sometimes.

We had tons of fun and can't wait to go back and take more pictures of each other doing awesome things haha. We got home and took a long nap after shower time. A big thanks goes out to all of the leaders that plan this trip every year and most especially to Brother Briggs who snagged us camping sites and brought all of the climbing gear and took these here photos of me climbing!

Aloha.

The Family: Affection in Marriage

I was raised with my maternal grandparents as my guardians. All throughout my childhood, I suspected they didn't much care for each other because they never said kind words to each other or about each other -- never do I remember a time when they physically touched out of love. They slept in separate rooms, in fact.
My grandpa would go to work, come home and watch the game (whatever game was on). My grandma would yell, clean, and then yell some more. Both avid smokers and both pretty supportive of their children and grandchildren (and now, great-grandchildren).
Now, Grandma's on in-home hospice care and fighting for every breath she takes because of dumb COPD. This new down turn in her health has caused them to actually think about why they married in the first place -- love. Weird how death does that.
The other night, she was having a particularly hard time and Grandpa came in to just rub her back and hold her hand. It was the craziest thing I had ever seen. She would sit up and he would rub her back until she'd lay down and he'd hold her hand. It went on forever, or like twenty minutes.
Then a few nights later I saw Grandpa come into the living room where we were sitting and he bent down to touch her hand and say good night. All of my life, I had never seen such affection in a real marriage and especially by them. I mean, talk about PDA for them. Holding hands? Saying good night? BACK RUBS? Who are they? It was at this moment when I felt something I hadn't before either -- security. Knowing the people who raised me loved each other openly was self-assuring.
The first occurrence was weirder than cute for me, I felt like I had been transported to a different dimension. The second time though, was just perfect. Consistency, huh? I'm not sure of all the reasons for my sudden feeling of safety, but one of them was that I knew then that they could actually love. Growing up with little affection physically or verbally is teaching exclusively from the defense playbook. You block and shield your heart because if no one can ever get to it, no one can ever break it. But seeing them be affectionate and vulnerable with each other and all of this in front of others was absolutely surreal; there is no substitute for that in a marriage. Showing that you love your partner without question not only strengthens you and yours, but the lucky ones who get to witness it. I knew when he rubbed her back that he was capable of loving me; and when she didn't pull her hand away from his touch that she could love me too.

Glen and I have always been quite affectionate in private and sometimes in public. This experience with my grandparents has brought me to the absolute conclusion that the physical affection of our marriage has lasting effects not only for us personally, but can for the children we would like to raise someday.

That's all.
Aloha.

The Mayan Ranch

The weekend before last, we had a little weekend getaway with friends out in Murrieta, CA. The ladies spent the morning of Saturday shopping for our food supply and we may have taken a little longer than planned, but no one complained after the meals were on the table. We frantically packed and got to the ranch with just enough time to watch sunset from the beautiful deck and ride around on the John Deere haha. 

Most of us **cough Vi cough** had cheeseburgers that night with the american slices we found in the fridge... they were a few years old and tasty. No one got sick. Glen and I also made pineapple habenero salsa for a side/weekend snack. That night, we had a bonfire equipped with delicious s'mores. About an hour into it, we heard a coyote and it sounded pretty close. The guys got excited, grabbed the BB guns in the upstairs closet, and ran out the door with the Gator keys. They were gone for.e.ver. The girls stayed in and watched Lion King, did yoga, and had a massage party. Smiles all around.

Sunday, we went to church and it was an awesome ward! They were all asking incessantly if we were moving in to stay -- Mormons, always looking for some more people to serve on a long-term basis, ya know? Glen and I had to do laundry after church because in the scramble to pack, I left our garments on our computer desk. Yay, me! We read scriptures and talked gospel until it was done. We had an amazing dinner of carne asada soft tacos, Mexican rice, a bunch of salsas, and a really good watermelon! Most people had homemade peach cobbler and homemade whipped cream for dessert, but I'm not too into that, plus I ate like a billion tacos. Also, I knew there were s'mores in my near future because we were talking about them all day (fast Sunday will do that). After dinner, we shot BB's at water bottles, a wood plank, graham cracker box, and some unripe grapefruit as the sun went down. After the bonfire that followed the shooting, we played Idiot and watched Pocahontas. We found some night-vision goggles and wanted to play hide-and-seek with them, but never got passed creepy-face staring haha. 

I woke up early-ish Monday to do some yoga on the deck. It was peaceful and amazing and I want a ranch with a sweet deck and a Gator and a bonfire pit and all my friends living nearby. That'll have to wait until we all die though because that's just too much to ask for. Glen and I rode around in the Gator picking fruit and trying to remember it all before packing up and heading out.

A mighty thanks to the Mayan family and all of our old and new friends! Let's do it again in a month or two ;)
Aloha

My First Surgery: The Extraction of Wisdom

[The after surgery videos are below... but don't expect much. I'm pretty much normal other than crying and being slow(er than normal), oh and sighing every two seconds]

So, in my 'about me' section there is a list of some things... about me. One of the bullets lists my long need for braces and still having my wisdom teeth. That statement is now a lie; every mouth professional still tells me I need braces, but Dr. Choi took my four wisdom teeth out of my jaw on 28 July 2015.

The months up to my appointment, we were awaiting insurance approval and my mouth would remind me now and again of the need for surgery. Like I didn't know already, thanks. It took so long though that it sort of felt like it was never going to happen. When the surgery was a couple days away, my nerves kicked in pretty hard; the office called to confirm my appointment and it started feeling too real. I mean, what do I know about surgery? 

We showed on time for once and had to wait for an eternity in the lobby. It gave Glen time to learn how to work my phone's video camera smoothly though.

We got called back and as soon as I got in the chair the lady started cleaning me up for an IV. This was what I was most nervous about -- needles are just the worst, right? I had never experienced an IV before and then it happened and I was like, "Whaaaat?! That's it?" And then I was like... "Okay, I'm done, take it out now." Of course, they didn't and they were already taping a stethoscope to my neck so the surgeon could make sure my heart kept beating and my breathing never ceased. Then the second fear popped in -- death; never waking. But the sleeping stuff was already pumping in through the IV and it felt like a warm liquid slowly streaming up my arm and I closed my eyes...

But I could still hear everything and the third fear of never actually falling asleep kicked in! I started frantically trying to relax every portion of my body. Then, every sound in the room started going slow-mo on me; like the sounds literally went crazy and I was gone. Then I woke up and the nurses were scurrying about my body taking off all the gadgets and talking about something I can't remember now.

And the rest is in the videos...

And that's that. Aloha.

San Simeon: Not Sea Otters

Before I go any further with our San Simeon rager, let me just make a quick shout out to Cambria, CA for having the Main Street Grill. Glen and I shared the ABC Burger (Avocado, Bacon, Cheese), which was delightful to look at and eat; and the tri-tip sandwich, which was made a billion times better by the avocado Kate is shucking into Glen's basket. Kate doesn't like when different textures mesh in her food, so we asked for her avocado on the side and in a favorable blunder on the grill's part, we got landed with a side and it in her sandwich still. The fries and onion rings were good while the portion size was excellent; and that barbecue sauce was very tasty. So, if you happen to be hungry close to Cambria, get a side of avocado.

After we were done with our tour and fun up at Hearst Castle, we spent some time in the souvenir shop for the girls to get stuff for their families/themselves. I found a book and a corner to read because souvenir shops make me sick. Sea Otters was the obvious choice because they're the cutest and, if you need another reason at all, our next stop was the coastline.

We went North a little way for the elephant seal stop that is heavily advertised on the bus rides at Hearst Castle... I am not sure why they would do this other than that is the only other thing to do in San Simeon. This theory is solid because they also advertise for Salvang; hours away Solvang.

These guys aren't battling this time of year, they all just sleep on top of each other all day. This big guy is in the middle of their only trick: a throat clicking noise that is distinct and loud. The ones that were playing around in the water kept on doing it; one went under the water still doing it and I could hear it! It was muffled, but loud enough.

I looked through Kate's binoculars for my new family to wrap me up in kelp and float around with 'em. And when I finally came to the realization that my dreams of wild sea otter friendship was far and distant from this place, I stopped looking at weird noses and wanted food.

In-n-Out did us right after a little mix-up because we had 10 people with custom orders. We ended up with two more burgers than necessary, so this staff gets ten gold stars even though none of us could eat it right then because of sheer discomfort. But it was saved and devoured on the ride home.

This was an awesome weekend trip with our Young Women. Kate bought us two souvenirs, both Christmas ornaments: the first from the Santa Ines mission and the second from Hearst Castle. We love them and are excited to start collecting them on every trip we go on; most will probably be handmade from here on out though. Not that I don't love them, but I just don't like spending money on that kind of stuff when I know I can make something cool too.

For now, Aloha.