The baby and I are still one and this is life.
11/29 - Overdue 01: We're cleaning and organizing our room still, so maybe it's not so bad to go over a little. We went to Cinema City with the boys to see Moana and it was so cute! The baby was extremely active the entire show -- probably because I hadn't eaten dinner beforehand and the baby does not like when I do that. Glen says it recognized its ancestry which I practically cried over. We almost went to The Hat for chili cheese fries at around 10 PM, but decided to skip spending money and make it with tater tots that need to get out of the freezer anyway (to make room for milk storage -- hey-o).
11/30 - Overdue 02: Still cleaning/organizing and now I'm trying to figure out payments and stuff for maternity leave stipulations, which is probably more boring and stressful than I could have anticipated. But, Doctor Strange at 2:45 in the AMC comfy seats has my afternoon looking quite nice. I started the alphabet book for the baby and feel like everything is finally settling down and I can relax a bit about everything. Nothing is happening still; if you were wondering like me.
12/01 - Overdue 03: Getting used to the whole sleeping in thing at this point and I love it just as much as I remembered. Nothing to report other than the baby's still in there and I've still not felt an inkling of birth.
12/02 - Overdue 04: Doctor's appointments today to get adjusted (chiropractor), see if baby can handle being overdue (Non-Stress Test), and if there's enough liquid in there to keep it cooking (ultrasound). The NST was super fun and I was semi-hoping to wait until this day because I wanted see what it was all about. I sat in a recliner in a small room with Glen sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair across from me. The nurse put two monitors on me and searched around for the heartbeat. I had to push it into my tummy the whole test because it couldn't pick up the beat otherwise -- my hand got so tired by the end of that 20 minutes haha! A little while in, Glen made me laugh and the machine was so loud that I had to take the bottom node (for the heartbeat) off so the machine didn't explode. After chastising him and letting him know that jokes aren't okay, he told another one, but I resisted almost all laughter. About half way through, the baby noticed the top monitor and kicked it the rest of the test. Over and over and over. It was probably the cutest thing it's done in this life so far. It was so fun to hear our baby dancing around in there -- it felt like an awakening to the relationship we will have very soon (so soon! PLEASE!?). The nurse took the read out to our doctor and he said that everything looked fine, so no need to go across the street to labor & delivery. Mostly sweet, a tiny bit bitter news. We were glad to have had the opportunity. The ultrasound! Baby's head is still down and the body was going up my right side with the feet and hands near its face. The little profile is killer. I feel so grateful every time I get to see inside my womb to our posterity. There are so many things to be annoyed about -- stretching skin, needing help to get up, feeling hungry and tired always... -- but I don't mind when I think of the blessing that is in those discomforts. The strength and courage and faith that Glen and I have learned of in these almost ten months. I've broken down and then been built up by my husband and my Creator working as a remarkable team, supporting me. I love my marriage.
12/03 - Overdue 05: We had our Ward Christmas Party and everyone was playing the same round of 21 questions with us, which I didn't mind because obviously I'm still pregnant and that's weird. I expected this. The Meyer's are in town and the children were all asking to play and run around and do anything but sit, so they were mildly disappointed. Get used to it, ya feel? Bronson came in hot with the hello hug and head bonked the baby's butt pretty good. And also started yelling "elf poo" over and over because they had just gone on a walk around the neighborhood and they call the hanging balls elf poop. I was feeling a bit of a headache and my throat was hurting a little, so I just felt like being in a quiet place when we got home.
12/04 - Overdue 06: Church day. Wasn't feeling great in the morning, but decided on going to church anyway because it might be my last time for a little while -- pending recovery needs. We took a long nap after because I was feeling off. Woke up feeling much better and decided on going to choir practice for Stake Conference because baby likes singing and maybe it'd make it want to come out. Nothing happened. Again. I felt some back pains and stomach pains, but I don't think they were labor pains... I don't know. I was pretty excited over the possibility, but it was not to be. We took a shower and went to bed hoping something would happen before my appointment in the morning.
12/05 - Overdue 07: I had my last doctor's appointment pre-birth this morning and we scheduled my induction process for tonight. I still had no cervical dilation and haven't felt contractions (pretty sure anyway). The rest of the day was filled with crying and laundry and trying not to freak out and crying some more. Mostly, we tried to focus on getting our room ready for coming home and me being out of commission in here and not hating it. Bruce is coming over after work to assist Glen in administering a blessing on me before we leave for the hospital. We have had so many people voice their support and love for us in these last hours before the craziness begins and we are very grateful. One last secondary application to get out and then we're off after a lasagna dinner and a pit stop at Yogurtland. Pray for us.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
16 December 2016
28 November 2016
Week by Week: Trimester Three
The final mester. See one and two if you want to drown yourself in the full experience.
Week 28: It's busy season, guys. I don't have time for anything and I need sleep. I didn't even have time to take Labor day off -- that's a federal holiday, folks. We still got to the temple for sealings on Saturday while I took a break from work. We went to dinner at Thailandia with the Agrelius' afterward, too. Which felt like the break I needed before getting back on the computer until Sabbath's 12 am (much anticipated) call to stop everything for the next 24 hours of rest. Look at how excited I am to see the sun and not be working!
Week 29: Glen has found the baby moves more when the stomach is tapped -- the little thing prods at the sounding spot; you've just witnessed our new bedtime tradition. Also, Glen is really into the whole babies can see light thing and this is the first week where baby actually responded to the flashes. And the first deadline of busy season has ended, which couldn't have been a better stopping point for me. I'm feeling more tired again and have a bunch of stuff to do to get ready for baby showers and... birth. So, yeah. Also, I bought two maternity/post-maternity dresses because I have had very limited clothing options. This is one of them -- well the top because I'm still trying to recuperate from September 15th and have just been dazed since trying not to think about the next deadline in October. Oh, P.S., this is in my cube at work.
Week 30: I found the wave of the gift registry future in babylist and it's been a huge weight lifted because I hate the idea of just registering at one store when their are so many boutiques and hand-made items so easily accessible now. Anyway, Glen and I still went to Target to register as well for those who don't internet (who?) and got a S.W.A.G. bag, which was an awesome bonus! I came home from work and was feeling annoyed with heart burn, so we grabbed smoothies at this new juice place down the street. Glen needed Nyquil because he's pretty sick right now, so we just decided to go to Target and register while picking up the medicine. I was planning on just doing it online because, because, but I'm so glad we went! It was way more fun than I expected and always a good time with my best friend.
Week 31: I think I've made it through Glen's sickness without contracting a severe case! We had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday -- we talked to him about my lower back pain (which has been since before the whole pregnancy thing, but it's just worsened due to having more weight, I think) and what to do about a pediatrician. Not excited about having to choose one, but we have to. Also, they sprung the whole whooping cough shot on me after taking my blood pressure and, really, that's just unacceptable. I mean, I got the shot or whatever, but I need to prepare for this kind of crap. Don't they understand anything? And now my arm is sore -- double boo. Glen and have I been in the process of changing our room because three in a 10x11 is a bit much with a full bed. So, Glen and Middleton (scout master/friend of Glen's since forever) have been working on our new setup (SO EXCITED). Also, Glen finished his knife this week and it looks like he has a new hobby because wow.
Week 32: I walked outside Monday morning and it was kind of chilly. Great, great timing for the heat to disappear because I am experiencing body warmth more often. I sleep with just Glen's linen blanket instead of my customary flannel + linen blanket setup. Also, with sleep, I tend to fall asleep on my right side for a good portion of the night; around two-three hours before my alarm is ready to beep, I awake to find my right leg feeling like it needs some more blood flow so I turn onto my back... which then causes the bladder-baby situation to appear and I usually go pee. When I get back, I fall asleep on my left side foolishly thinking tonight is the night this will be okay. Every. Night. Not long after this naive body placement, I must switch to my right side again because my left leg can't hang like the other one. Speaking of sleep, I had my first dream where the baby was still part of my life! It must have been moving a ton because my whole dream was just about showing other people my moving stomach. That's it. Temple night, Thursday night. I went to the chiropractor on Friday morning because I have been having extreme lower back pain for all of my pregnancy, which has gotten significantly worse this trimester. I haven't been able to lay on my back without pain in my sacrum for the past 6-7 months. Just recently has it become so bad that when I walk it hurts my back and I feel a pop every time I step with my right leg. The fire that caused me to actually see someone about all of this was the leg cramp I got Thursday night about an hour into sleep. Glen was still awake and I started laughing a little in my sleep, soon turning into painful sobs and a wide-eyed panic over my left leg. It lasted probably a minute, but I thought I could be paralyzed and never walk again. Leg cramps have never been common to me -- I can't think if I've had one in the past at all, but I know I never want one again. But the happiness that has become my new life is unreal! I can sleep on my back again and roll over at night without searing pain shooting up my spine and down my legs; I don't understand how it is possible, but I am so grateful for the relief. Also, I look more pregnant when I wear my guam :)
Week 33: Had an appointment with the doctor and a chiropractic visit afterward on Tuesday. We went into the doctor's office and found there to be no appointment for me because they had switched it and I didn't get the message. But the doctor that was there (Dr. Henderson) had an opening for me and he was so awesome! It didn't feel rushed and he showed us the position of the baby and was just so nice! I've been finding myself more tired this week and waking up from naps that I hadn't realized I started. Also, breathing has become interestingly difficult at times -- mainly when the heartburn is in full swing.
Week 34: Busy season is officially over now and I have started studying to take the AUD portion of the CPA exam on November 15th. But let's not talk about it because I'm still finding every chance to procrastinate, which I will regret. Anyway, the new room situation is coming together! We have most of the main structures built and I started priming on Tuesday as I "studied" and "worked from home" -- I love non-busy season time. Our ward young women and relief society threw a baby shower for me on Wednesday night and it was less awkward than I anticipated! I don't like the whole attention type of situation, but the girls made it easier to handle and they did such an awesome job decorating and making it fun. I'm so grateful for the many gifts our baby received and for the blessing of having a loving ward family. I played in my first 18-hole golf tournament on Friday for work and it was fun/hot! I've played golf once before -- also for work, but that was only nine holes. It was actually at the very beginning of my pregnancy (March), so this baby has been golfing just as much as me. Glen was listening to the baby as it moved on Sunday night and he said it sounded like someone crawling/playing in a cardboard box... interesting.
Week 35: Birthday time!!! On Monday, I got my birthday massage after my chiropractic appointment and it was everything. Glen got his on Tuesday after my doctor's appointment and it was painful because he's stressed and needs to do yoga like me haha! We were going to do a couple's massage, but they're more expensive and we found a Groupon deal for singles. Maybe every holiday will be accompanied by a massage visit (can't wait for Thanksgiving! haha). Bronson's birthday was on Tuesday and we celebrated with them at Chick-Fil-A and their home for dessert! That boy is so good; I'm so happy our birthdays sandwich his. The family baby shower happened on Saturday and it was all I wanted -- a relaxing time to talk and laugh with the people who will become our baby's every day. Kate and Marinda threw me the party and we're so grateful for their hard work and friendship. My sciatica acts up when the baby is in a certain low position and I'm walking around; mainly when I start the action of walking and it only effects my right leg so far.
Week 36: Halloween! My costume was the Kool-Aid Man and Glen was a brick wall -- best costume yet coming from this corner. We went trick-or-treating down Nutwood with Bronson and Jaydyn (plus their parents), dancing to music, and hugging through the scary times. Sciatica was a pretty consistent companion during the whole experience, unfortunately. We saw a friend performing with his barbershop quartet, too! It was so surprising and an awesome idea that should happen every holiday. Wednesday night, my left foot swelled a bit for the first time -- it was so quick I actually felt the change. It's because the baby really likes my right side; it likes stretching out into my right ribs and my right leg is the sciatica recipient because of the pressure it puts toward that side. So, I usually sit somewhat leaned over on my left side to not feel the gauges in my right ribs, which then causes my left leg to have more pressure on it. Pros and cons, people. Marinda took some photos of us and we're excited to see how they turn out -- Bronson is in a few, but he wasn't feeling particularly photo-happy that evening. Sunday was our anniversary (seventh) of being married; we spent the day cuddling in bed because Glen's sick and can't really do anything else at the moment (momentary lapses in cuddles while I went to church and choir practices). Oh yes, and we went to the doctor on Friday for our last scheduled ultrasound! The baby roughly measured at 6.4 pounds and still no word on the skull measurement... The technician said she could see lots of hair, which was met with extreme skepticism because I'm sure our baby's head will be bald until two.
Week 37: This is crunch week to study for my second CPA exam -- on auditing. I will be taking it next Tuesday and then my life will be completely different haha. But we did manage to steal away to the grounds of the temple on Monday night for FHE for a tiny, tiny anniversary celebration. I've been asked several times now whether we're ready or what we have left to do and all I can think about is studying and taking this stupid exam right now. So, after Tuesday, I'm sure there will be a flood of emotions and thoughts and to-do's and freak outs about having a baby in two weeks, but, for now, it's study or die. Friday night was the second time my tummy was growling too much to go back to sleep; while I didn't actually have the urge in my brain to eat at 4 AM, Glen went to the kitchen and got me some Special K with strawberries and we had a little feast in bed. Also, this is the same night that Glen mistakenly chose to use the restroom before me when I woke up for my mid-night-ritual-pee-break. I almost died in the hallway scratching at the door. Ash and Rich's baby was born and their shower was on Saturday -- it was so beautiful and delicious! Bronson gave me two unprompted hugs, so it was a really great night. Plus, it gave me an excuse to stop studying for an hour... so that was nerve-racking and awesome at the same time.

Week 38: Monday, I had a sore throat and an ear ache that wouldn't leave me alone -- it ruined my studying which should have already been accomplished, but whatever. Glen kept warming up a damp cloth for me to put over my ear/neck area and that helped a lot. Tuesday, we took the exam and baby was a little jitterbug the entire time; probably because it was just as excited as me to get this stupid test out of the way finally. Glen and I went out for pizza after at Tony's Little Italy and ate too much, then I went over to Vi's to celebrate Joanna's birthday. I was tired, but I needed to go out and have normal life things happen without the stress of a test in the back of my mind. I still feel like there's no way I'm going to have this baby in two weeks; like maybe I'll just be pregnant forever (or at least until January). It just doesn't feel real yet, I guess. My officemate and a few other coworkers prettied my desk on my supposed last day :) We had a doctor's appointment and the doc said I'm 70-80% effaced, which is extremely average. We took our second batch of maternity photos on Friday evening and we're so excited to see them! My feet and lower legs have been swelling more frequently, which is never fun, but yeah. I have to think about where I'll sit beforehand making sure there's a way for my feet to be elevated - it's not convenient, that's for sure. Glen still thinks I look good though, so no real complaints from me so far. Also, Ian got home from his mission :) I started "feeling the pregnancy" that day -- probably because we had a busy day on Friday after not getting enough sleep, so Saturday got the lame sticker. I was just extra tired and felt like everything we did was burdensome.
Week 39: I went into work on Monday and quickly got sent home by one of my bosses because I "should be resting" and he can finish the project we were working on by himself. I felt relieved because I wasn't feeling particularly normal that morning and the right side of my face was numb. The numb type of feeling after the dentist shoots you up and it's wearing off a little later -- like tingly and feels like your face is waking up from being dead. I looked it up online and after a short scare of Bells Palsy, remembered that I hadn't taken my pill the night before because we got home late from Nana's and there was evidence suggesting that numbness can come from vitamin deficiencies (it specified B12, but I don't know anything about that). I took my pill right then and by the next day everything was back to not being numb. Glen finally got his TDAP booster from one Dr. Kim on Tuesday morning. All we need to do now is pack our hospital bag, get the furniture built/painted/situated, and decorate for Christmas... Oh wait, already did decorate for Christmas! **high fives all around** At least in our room anyway. Well, nothing's happening down there it seems to me and I haven't had Braxton Hicks or milk leakage... the baby's content and I'm becoming uncomfortable. At the doctor on Wednesday, he said I'm 70-80% effaced and the baby could come any time. Glen and I have packed the hospital bag completely now and have the crib up in our room officially -- this all happened on Saturday. So, just waiting around for go time. I don't want to be induced or have to end the pregnancy via C-section. It will all happen as it will, but there are more ideal situations to be in than those.
Monday, November 28, 2016 - Due Date: Went to the doctor -- got checked and just as I suspected, nothing of note is going on down there still. He said I'm still at 80% effacement and completely closed. I think I'm too hospitable and need to start making it uncomfortable for the baby somehow. Is there a Pinterest for that? I'm officially on maternity leave this week, so I really want this baby to come so we can spend as much time as a family together before I have to go back to work. If only the thing would cooperate. I've noticed a few stretch marks on my tummy thus far -- one on my lower left side becomes inflamed often and hurts. There's another one above my bellybutton and possibly more around there because wow is that whole area something else haha. Lots of change both inside and out of me, but I'm so grateful to be carrying Glen's baby. He offers my life more love than I have strength to bear -- often overflowing through my tear ducts. We are very much built for each other. Okay, coming back to this later in the day (7:17 PM) because I've been feeling very slight pains in my lower left abdomen. It feels much like menstrual cramps except only on my left side. Just thought I'd mention it in case my dreams are coming true. But off we go to AMC to see Fantastic Beasts for FHE because I still don't think this is meaningful birth-wise.
So, whether this baby comes now or later, we're not ready and never will be, but excited about it anyway.
Week 28: It's busy season, guys. I don't have time for anything and I need sleep. I didn't even have time to take Labor day off -- that's a federal holiday, folks. We still got to the temple for sealings on Saturday while I took a break from work. We went to dinner at Thailandia with the Agrelius' afterward, too. Which felt like the break I needed before getting back on the computer until Sabbath's 12 am (much anticipated) call to stop everything for the next 24 hours of rest. Look at how excited I am to see the sun and not be working!
Week 29: Glen has found the baby moves more when the stomach is tapped -- the little thing prods at the sounding spot; you've just witnessed our new bedtime tradition. Also, Glen is really into the whole babies can see light thing and this is the first week where baby actually responded to the flashes. And the first deadline of busy season has ended, which couldn't have been a better stopping point for me. I'm feeling more tired again and have a bunch of stuff to do to get ready for baby showers and... birth. So, yeah. Also, I bought two maternity/post-maternity dresses because I have had very limited clothing options. This is one of them -- well the top because I'm still trying to recuperate from September 15th and have just been dazed since trying not to think about the next deadline in October. Oh, P.S., this is in my cube at work.
Week 30: I found the wave of the gift registry future in babylist and it's been a huge weight lifted because I hate the idea of just registering at one store when their are so many boutiques and hand-made items so easily accessible now. Anyway, Glen and I still went to Target to register as well for those who don't internet (who?) and got a S.W.A.G. bag, which was an awesome bonus! I came home from work and was feeling annoyed with heart burn, so we grabbed smoothies at this new juice place down the street. Glen needed Nyquil because he's pretty sick right now, so we just decided to go to Target and register while picking up the medicine. I was planning on just doing it online because, because, but I'm so glad we went! It was way more fun than I expected and always a good time with my best friend.
Week 31: I think I've made it through Glen's sickness without contracting a severe case! We had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday -- we talked to him about my lower back pain (which has been since before the whole pregnancy thing, but it's just worsened due to having more weight, I think) and what to do about a pediatrician. Not excited about having to choose one, but we have to. Also, they sprung the whole whooping cough shot on me after taking my blood pressure and, really, that's just unacceptable. I mean, I got the shot or whatever, but I need to prepare for this kind of crap. Don't they understand anything? And now my arm is sore -- double boo. Glen and have I been in the process of changing our room because three in a 10x11 is a bit much with a full bed. So, Glen and Middleton (scout master/friend of Glen's since forever) have been working on our new setup (SO EXCITED). Also, Glen finished his knife this week and it looks like he has a new hobby because wow.
Week 32: I walked outside Monday morning and it was kind of chilly. Great, great timing for the heat to disappear because I am experiencing body warmth more often. I sleep with just Glen's linen blanket instead of my customary flannel + linen blanket setup. Also, with sleep, I tend to fall asleep on my right side for a good portion of the night; around two-three hours before my alarm is ready to beep, I awake to find my right leg feeling like it needs some more blood flow so I turn onto my back... which then causes the bladder-baby situation to appear and I usually go pee. When I get back, I fall asleep on my left side foolishly thinking tonight is the night this will be okay. Every. Night. Not long after this naive body placement, I must switch to my right side again because my left leg can't hang like the other one. Speaking of sleep, I had my first dream where the baby was still part of my life! It must have been moving a ton because my whole dream was just about showing other people my moving stomach. That's it. Temple night, Thursday night. I went to the chiropractor on Friday morning because I have been having extreme lower back pain for all of my pregnancy, which has gotten significantly worse this trimester. I haven't been able to lay on my back without pain in my sacrum for the past 6-7 months. Just recently has it become so bad that when I walk it hurts my back and I feel a pop every time I step with my right leg. The fire that caused me to actually see someone about all of this was the leg cramp I got Thursday night about an hour into sleep. Glen was still awake and I started laughing a little in my sleep, soon turning into painful sobs and a wide-eyed panic over my left leg. It lasted probably a minute, but I thought I could be paralyzed and never walk again. Leg cramps have never been common to me -- I can't think if I've had one in the past at all, but I know I never want one again. But the happiness that has become my new life is unreal! I can sleep on my back again and roll over at night without searing pain shooting up my spine and down my legs; I don't understand how it is possible, but I am so grateful for the relief. Also, I look more pregnant when I wear my guam :)
Week 33: Had an appointment with the doctor and a chiropractic visit afterward on Tuesday. We went into the doctor's office and found there to be no appointment for me because they had switched it and I didn't get the message. But the doctor that was there (Dr. Henderson) had an opening for me and he was so awesome! It didn't feel rushed and he showed us the position of the baby and was just so nice! I've been finding myself more tired this week and waking up from naps that I hadn't realized I started. Also, breathing has become interestingly difficult at times -- mainly when the heartburn is in full swing.
Week 34: Busy season is officially over now and I have started studying to take the AUD portion of the CPA exam on November 15th. But let's not talk about it because I'm still finding every chance to procrastinate, which I will regret. Anyway, the new room situation is coming together! We have most of the main structures built and I started priming on Tuesday as I "studied" and "worked from home" -- I love non-busy season time. Our ward young women and relief society threw a baby shower for me on Wednesday night and it was less awkward than I anticipated! I don't like the whole attention type of situation, but the girls made it easier to handle and they did such an awesome job decorating and making it fun. I'm so grateful for the many gifts our baby received and for the blessing of having a loving ward family. I played in my first 18-hole golf tournament on Friday for work and it was fun/hot! I've played golf once before -- also for work, but that was only nine holes. It was actually at the very beginning of my pregnancy (March), so this baby has been golfing just as much as me. Glen was listening to the baby as it moved on Sunday night and he said it sounded like someone crawling/playing in a cardboard box... interesting.
Week 35: Birthday time!!! On Monday, I got my birthday massage after my chiropractic appointment and it was everything. Glen got his on Tuesday after my doctor's appointment and it was painful because he's stressed and needs to do yoga like me haha! We were going to do a couple's massage, but they're more expensive and we found a Groupon deal for singles. Maybe every holiday will be accompanied by a massage visit (can't wait for Thanksgiving! haha). Bronson's birthday was on Tuesday and we celebrated with them at Chick-Fil-A and their home for dessert! That boy is so good; I'm so happy our birthdays sandwich his. The family baby shower happened on Saturday and it was all I wanted -- a relaxing time to talk and laugh with the people who will become our baby's every day. Kate and Marinda threw me the party and we're so grateful for their hard work and friendship. My sciatica acts up when the baby is in a certain low position and I'm walking around; mainly when I start the action of walking and it only effects my right leg so far.
Week 36: Halloween! My costume was the Kool-Aid Man and Glen was a brick wall -- best costume yet coming from this corner. We went trick-or-treating down Nutwood with Bronson and Jaydyn (plus their parents), dancing to music, and hugging through the scary times. Sciatica was a pretty consistent companion during the whole experience, unfortunately. We saw a friend performing with his barbershop quartet, too! It was so surprising and an awesome idea that should happen every holiday. Wednesday night, my left foot swelled a bit for the first time -- it was so quick I actually felt the change. It's because the baby really likes my right side; it likes stretching out into my right ribs and my right leg is the sciatica recipient because of the pressure it puts toward that side. So, I usually sit somewhat leaned over on my left side to not feel the gauges in my right ribs, which then causes my left leg to have more pressure on it. Pros and cons, people. Marinda took some photos of us and we're excited to see how they turn out -- Bronson is in a few, but he wasn't feeling particularly photo-happy that evening. Sunday was our anniversary (seventh) of being married; we spent the day cuddling in bed because Glen's sick and can't really do anything else at the moment (momentary lapses in cuddles while I went to church and choir practices). Oh yes, and we went to the doctor on Friday for our last scheduled ultrasound! The baby roughly measured at 6.4 pounds and still no word on the skull measurement... The technician said she could see lots of hair, which was met with extreme skepticism because I'm sure our baby's head will be bald until two.
Week 37: This is crunch week to study for my second CPA exam -- on auditing. I will be taking it next Tuesday and then my life will be completely different haha. But we did manage to steal away to the grounds of the temple on Monday night for FHE for a tiny, tiny anniversary celebration. I've been asked several times now whether we're ready or what we have left to do and all I can think about is studying and taking this stupid exam right now. So, after Tuesday, I'm sure there will be a flood of emotions and thoughts and to-do's and freak outs about having a baby in two weeks, but, for now, it's study or die. Friday night was the second time my tummy was growling too much to go back to sleep; while I didn't actually have the urge in my brain to eat at 4 AM, Glen went to the kitchen and got me some Special K with strawberries and we had a little feast in bed. Also, this is the same night that Glen mistakenly chose to use the restroom before me when I woke up for my mid-night-ritual-pee-break. I almost died in the hallway scratching at the door. Ash and Rich's baby was born and their shower was on Saturday -- it was so beautiful and delicious! Bronson gave me two unprompted hugs, so it was a really great night. Plus, it gave me an excuse to stop studying for an hour... so that was nerve-racking and awesome at the same time.

Week 38: Monday, I had a sore throat and an ear ache that wouldn't leave me alone -- it ruined my studying which should have already been accomplished, but whatever. Glen kept warming up a damp cloth for me to put over my ear/neck area and that helped a lot. Tuesday, we took the exam and baby was a little jitterbug the entire time; probably because it was just as excited as me to get this stupid test out of the way finally. Glen and I went out for pizza after at Tony's Little Italy and ate too much, then I went over to Vi's to celebrate Joanna's birthday. I was tired, but I needed to go out and have normal life things happen without the stress of a test in the back of my mind. I still feel like there's no way I'm going to have this baby in two weeks; like maybe I'll just be pregnant forever (or at least until January). It just doesn't feel real yet, I guess. My officemate and a few other coworkers prettied my desk on my supposed last day :) We had a doctor's appointment and the doc said I'm 70-80% effaced, which is extremely average. We took our second batch of maternity photos on Friday evening and we're so excited to see them! My feet and lower legs have been swelling more frequently, which is never fun, but yeah. I have to think about where I'll sit beforehand making sure there's a way for my feet to be elevated - it's not convenient, that's for sure. Glen still thinks I look good though, so no real complaints from me so far. Also, Ian got home from his mission :) I started "feeling the pregnancy" that day -- probably because we had a busy day on Friday after not getting enough sleep, so Saturday got the lame sticker. I was just extra tired and felt like everything we did was burdensome.
Week 39: I went into work on Monday and quickly got sent home by one of my bosses because I "should be resting" and he can finish the project we were working on by himself. I felt relieved because I wasn't feeling particularly normal that morning and the right side of my face was numb. The numb type of feeling after the dentist shoots you up and it's wearing off a little later -- like tingly and feels like your face is waking up from being dead. I looked it up online and after a short scare of Bells Palsy, remembered that I hadn't taken my pill the night before because we got home late from Nana's and there was evidence suggesting that numbness can come from vitamin deficiencies (it specified B12, but I don't know anything about that). I took my pill right then and by the next day everything was back to not being numb. Glen finally got his TDAP booster from one Dr. Kim on Tuesday morning. All we need to do now is pack our hospital bag, get the furniture built/painted/situated, and decorate for Christmas... Oh wait, already did decorate for Christmas! **high fives all around** At least in our room anyway. Well, nothing's happening down there it seems to me and I haven't had Braxton Hicks or milk leakage... the baby's content and I'm becoming uncomfortable. At the doctor on Wednesday, he said I'm 70-80% effaced and the baby could come any time. Glen and I have packed the hospital bag completely now and have the crib up in our room officially -- this all happened on Saturday. So, just waiting around for go time. I don't want to be induced or have to end the pregnancy via C-section. It will all happen as it will, but there are more ideal situations to be in than those.
Monday, November 28, 2016 - Due Date: Went to the doctor -- got checked and just as I suspected, nothing of note is going on down there still. He said I'm still at 80% effacement and completely closed. I think I'm too hospitable and need to start making it uncomfortable for the baby somehow. Is there a Pinterest for that? I'm officially on maternity leave this week, so I really want this baby to come so we can spend as much time as a family together before I have to go back to work. If only the thing would cooperate. I've noticed a few stretch marks on my tummy thus far -- one on my lower left side becomes inflamed often and hurts. There's another one above my bellybutton and possibly more around there because wow is that whole area something else haha. Lots of change both inside and out of me, but I'm so grateful to be carrying Glen's baby. He offers my life more love than I have strength to bear -- often overflowing through my tear ducts. We are very much built for each other. Okay, coming back to this later in the day (7:17 PM) because I've been feeling very slight pains in my lower left abdomen. It feels much like menstrual cramps except only on my left side. Just thought I'd mention it in case my dreams are coming true. But off we go to AMC to see Fantastic Beasts for FHE because I still don't think this is meaningful birth-wise.
So, whether this baby comes now or later, we're not ready and never will be, but excited about it anyway.
14 April 2016
Running // 001
Several years ago, Glen wanted to start running and I was willing to try it. It was a sunny day; probably late Spring-ish. We dressed accordingly and set off with no specific plan other than going to the post office, I think. It was hot and my legs were annoyed by the end of the driveway. We had made it about a quarter mile and my legs were streaked with scratch marks from the terrible itchiness that accompanies running without cause. It is amazing how adding some sort of ball and a point system changes the disposition of disdain for so many of us. I wish my hatred manifested in some other fashion, though.
Well, as you can probably imagine, that was the running experience of our marriage. Short-lived and very much disliked by me.
Glen was in cross-country in high school -- he has expressed an inclination for trying to run again recently, which I haven't been completely against. I know I need some cardiovascular exercise in my routine or I'm going to die in any situation where being quick for a lengthy amount of time is necessary. Plus, my genes don't have the greatest heart health news in them.
I knew that if we started running, I would need an extremely slow start -- we're talking jog a quarter mile and see how that feels. One night after work, we were going to drop off some pani popo at a friend's house that lives about a half mile away. We decided to run it over to them because if we have to do it, having a purpose is at least something. By the time we were about half way down the short road to the main street, I was struggling for breath. You see my need for this, now, right? I made it about half-way before walking, which is pathetic, I understand that. We walked until a specified corner and we ran the rest of the short distance to their front door.
We stayed and visited with them for about an hour before heading out again. I made it about three-quarters of the way before walking that time because of the annoyance I felt with myself for being so incapable. That ended up being a mistake because of the even greater incapability I was experiencing of getting air in my lungs.
The next night, we ran to our friend's house to help with a fundraising project for the youth in our ward at church. Instead of it being at her house, which is about a half mile away from us, it was at the church, a mile away from her house. I had ran the whole way to her house though! So, we walked to the main street and set out to run the rest of the way. And it actually happened! I got a ride home though.
Let me tell you though, my legs had never been so tight in all of my memory! I could barely stand straight; they weren't sore feeling, but the muscles felt like they would never be able to lengthen again.
We haven't been running since these fateful two days. It's not that we've intentionally abstained, but we haven't made it a priority and if I have a choice between running and yoga... well, that's that. We'll come back to it soon though.
I think.
Well, as you can probably imagine, that was the running experience of our marriage. Short-lived and very much disliked by me.
Glen was in cross-country in high school -- he has expressed an inclination for trying to run again recently, which I haven't been completely against. I know I need some cardiovascular exercise in my routine or I'm going to die in any situation where being quick for a lengthy amount of time is necessary. Plus, my genes don't have the greatest heart health news in them.
I knew that if we started running, I would need an extremely slow start -- we're talking jog a quarter mile and see how that feels. One night after work, we were going to drop off some pani popo at a friend's house that lives about a half mile away. We decided to run it over to them because if we have to do it, having a purpose is at least something. By the time we were about half way down the short road to the main street, I was struggling for breath. You see my need for this, now, right? I made it about half-way before walking, which is pathetic, I understand that. We walked until a specified corner and we ran the rest of the short distance to their front door.
We stayed and visited with them for about an hour before heading out again. I made it about three-quarters of the way before walking that time because of the annoyance I felt with myself for being so incapable. That ended up being a mistake because of the even greater incapability I was experiencing of getting air in my lungs.
The next night, we ran to our friend's house to help with a fundraising project for the youth in our ward at church. Instead of it being at her house, which is about a half mile away from us, it was at the church, a mile away from her house. I had ran the whole way to her house though! So, we walked to the main street and set out to run the rest of the way. And it actually happened! I got a ride home though.
Let me tell you though, my legs had never been so tight in all of my memory! I could barely stand straight; they weren't sore feeling, but the muscles felt like they would never be able to lengthen again.
We haven't been running since these fateful two days. It's not that we've intentionally abstained, but we haven't made it a priority and if I have a choice between running and yoga... well, that's that. We'll come back to it soon though.
I think.
04 February 2016
CBIZ: Month One.
Let's be real for three moments, cool?
I didn't start my accounting career the last two years since graduating from BYUH because I was scared that I would never have time to be happy. I wanted to just be with my husband and have babies and feel the sun on my skin while still paying for medical school and the necessities of life for however many of us there would be. While I do believe this is possible for some people to accomplish, I wasn't making the necessary steps to accomplish this because I wasn't motivated.
I saw so many others in the little blurbs of their lives that FB or Instagram allows and couldn't understand how they were leading lives without strife and worry while I was not consolable in my isolated case of vulnerability. I felt that my life had been ruined along the pathway of life that I had chosen; I made a wrong turn away from that smooth road to richness of life and ended up in a tangle of weeds I could have plucked much earlier.
After about a year and a half of skirting around the issue with Glen, it happened. The talk, which was more like a sob fest, was long and hard to confess. I didn't want to disappoint him or anyone, but mostly him. I felt like I was in a bind of expectations to become a career-driven, CPA-getting, mothering woman. I used words in between tissues and sharp breaths and got out my feelings that had been building for years (because it started much sooner than graduation). I was accusatory and defensive; he was forgiving, gentle, kind, understanding and everything I hadn't anticipated in all of my lonely squandering. He told me things like I hadn't thought of before like, "you can quit in a week if you don't like it." He gave me confidence and control over my life again. For the first time in a fairly long time I felt free.
And taking a look at the mess through new eyes, I realized what I really was doing for me was a lot of nothing. There was no progression and no ceiling that was disallowing my success. I had let my fears of unhappiness and inability engulf my desires for helping my family progress. I started interviewing and received an offer for a tax associate position for the CPA firm I had always wanted from my time at BYUH. Even with all of the pushing from professors and classmates alike to get into the big four firms, I knew it didn't jive with my work ethic; not that I couldn't handle the pressure, but that it might consume my life because I have problems saying no to superiors in some boss/employee situations. [I don't know that this would have truly happened, but I am not going to allow myself the opportunity for that to happen again.]
With the encouragement of Glen, I was able to overcome my psychological blockages and have been working in the Irvine office of CBIZ for a month, today.
I don't know how long I'll continue working during or after Glen has graduated from med school, but it doesn't really matter either. I'm grateful for my job even though traffic and studying for the CPA exam blows. I'm actually still happy and that's a huge deal.
Aloha.
I didn't start my accounting career the last two years since graduating from BYUH because I was scared that I would never have time to be happy. I wanted to just be with my husband and have babies and feel the sun on my skin while still paying for medical school and the necessities of life for however many of us there would be. While I do believe this is possible for some people to accomplish, I wasn't making the necessary steps to accomplish this because I wasn't motivated.
I saw so many others in the little blurbs of their lives that FB or Instagram allows and couldn't understand how they were leading lives without strife and worry while I was not consolable in my isolated case of vulnerability. I felt that my life had been ruined along the pathway of life that I had chosen; I made a wrong turn away from that smooth road to richness of life and ended up in a tangle of weeds I could have plucked much earlier.
After about a year and a half of skirting around the issue with Glen, it happened. The talk, which was more like a sob fest, was long and hard to confess. I didn't want to disappoint him or anyone, but mostly him. I felt like I was in a bind of expectations to become a career-driven, CPA-getting, mothering woman. I used words in between tissues and sharp breaths and got out my feelings that had been building for years (because it started much sooner than graduation). I was accusatory and defensive; he was forgiving, gentle, kind, understanding and everything I hadn't anticipated in all of my lonely squandering. He told me things like I hadn't thought of before like, "you can quit in a week if you don't like it." He gave me confidence and control over my life again. For the first time in a fairly long time I felt free.
And taking a look at the mess through new eyes, I realized what I really was doing for me was a lot of nothing. There was no progression and no ceiling that was disallowing my success. I had let my fears of unhappiness and inability engulf my desires for helping my family progress. I started interviewing and received an offer for a tax associate position for the CPA firm I had always wanted from my time at BYUH. Even with all of the pushing from professors and classmates alike to get into the big four firms, I knew it didn't jive with my work ethic; not that I couldn't handle the pressure, but that it might consume my life because I have problems saying no to superiors in some boss/employee situations. [I don't know that this would have truly happened, but I am not going to allow myself the opportunity for that to happen again.]
With the encouragement of Glen, I was able to overcome my psychological blockages and have been working in the Irvine office of CBIZ for a month, today.
I don't know how long I'll continue working during or after Glen has graduated from med school, but it doesn't really matter either. I'm grateful for my job even though traffic and studying for the CPA exam blows. I'm actually still happy and that's a huge deal.
Aloha.
14 October 2015
The Family: Affection in Marriage
I was raised with my maternal grandparents as my guardians. All throughout my childhood, I suspected they didn't much care for each other because they never said kind words to each other or about each other -- never do I remember a time when they physically touched out of love. They slept in separate rooms, in fact.
My grandpa would go to work, come home and watch the game (whatever game was on). My grandma would yell, clean, and then yell some more. Both avid smokers and both pretty supportive of their children and grandchildren (and now, great-grandchildren).
Now, Grandma's on in-home hospice care and fighting for every breath she takes because of dumb COPD. This new down turn in her health has caused them to actually think about why they married in the first place -- love. Weird how death does that.
The other night, she was having a particularly hard time and Grandpa came in to just rub her back and hold her hand. It was the craziest thing I had ever seen. She would sit up and he would rub her back until she'd lay down and he'd hold her hand. It went on forever, or like twenty minutes.
Then a few nights later I saw Grandpa come into the living room where we were sitting and he bent down to touch her hand and say good night. All of my life, I had never seen such affection in a real marriage and especially by them. I mean, talk about PDA for them. Holding hands? Saying good night? BACK RUBS? Who are they? It was at this moment when I felt something I hadn't before either -- security. Knowing the people who raised me loved each other openly was self-assuring.
The first occurrence was weirder than cute for me, I felt like I had been transported to a different dimension. The second time though, was just perfect. Consistency, huh? I'm not sure of all the reasons for my sudden feeling of safety, but one of them was that I knew then that they could actually love. Growing up with little affection physically or verbally is teaching exclusively from the defense playbook. You block and shield your heart because if no one can ever get to it, no one can ever break it. But seeing them be affectionate and vulnerable with each other and all of this in front of others was absolutely surreal; there is no substitute for that in a marriage. Showing that you love your partner without question not only strengthens you and yours, but the lucky ones who get to witness it. I knew when he rubbed her back that he was capable of loving me; and when she didn't pull her hand away from his touch that she could love me too.
Glen and I have always been quite affectionate in private and sometimes in public. This experience with my grandparents has brought me to the absolute conclusion that the physical affection of our marriage has lasting effects not only for us personally, but can for the children we would like to raise someday.
That's all.
Aloha.
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